I have this funny feeling...
I have this weird feeling that something is going to happen to me soon, like just a change, good I think. I've just had a very basic, routine life recently and I feel like I"m about to burst and totally reverse. It's probably just because I've been so busy recently but I just have a restless feeling that I can't take the routine anymore. I'm bored.
Sometimes I think that I should write something, a story, a theory, a plot, a poem just something because I'm a very thoughtful person, I don't mean in the way that I necessarily always think of others but in the way that I put a lot of thought into whatever I do. As long as it has a point, I'll do it, but things need to have a purpose, I think that's why I feel like God's been really molding me recently because I need to let go and just follow His direction, whether I see the purpose or not. Maybe I'm not meant to analyze every twist and turn in life, maybe I should try to just trust, not that it will always be good but that it will always be His plan.
Trust is one of the hardest things that I learn. I suppose it's pretty much for everyone. I just end up justifying my decisions by saying that God can work with anything and He'll make it right in the end. It may be true or I may be making it much harder. It's not a trusting that he exists deal or even a trusting that He has a perfect plan for me, it's hearing Him and being willing to believe what He's telling me is from HIm, I think that if I was positive of something that He was telling me I wouldn't really hesitate to do it. I like a challenge and I like taking a step sometimes but it's just hard to know what He wants.
college, future husband, dates, jobs, music, friends, money, kids, roommates, there's soooo much that I could worry about. I think that sometimes He just sits up there and goes hello! This is soooo much easier the way I want it, just do it that way. But we never learn, I think that in heaven we'll all look at the dvd's of our life and go oh my we were idiots. I am positive of that. I hope he has this huge dvd player and he can play "Creation" and "The Flood" and "Miracles of the Old Testament" and "The Plagues" etc. So cool!
Sometimes I think that I should write something, a story, a theory, a plot, a poem just something because I'm a very thoughtful person, I don't mean in the way that I necessarily always think of others but in the way that I put a lot of thought into whatever I do. As long as it has a point, I'll do it, but things need to have a purpose, I think that's why I feel like God's been really molding me recently because I need to let go and just follow His direction, whether I see the purpose or not. Maybe I'm not meant to analyze every twist and turn in life, maybe I should try to just trust, not that it will always be good but that it will always be His plan.
Trust is one of the hardest things that I learn. I suppose it's pretty much for everyone. I just end up justifying my decisions by saying that God can work with anything and He'll make it right in the end. It may be true or I may be making it much harder. It's not a trusting that he exists deal or even a trusting that He has a perfect plan for me, it's hearing Him and being willing to believe what He's telling me is from HIm, I think that if I was positive of something that He was telling me I wouldn't really hesitate to do it. I like a challenge and I like taking a step sometimes but it's just hard to know what He wants.
college, future husband, dates, jobs, music, friends, money, kids, roommates, there's soooo much that I could worry about. I think that sometimes He just sits up there and goes hello! This is soooo much easier the way I want it, just do it that way. But we never learn, I think that in heaven we'll all look at the dvd's of our life and go oh my we were idiots. I am positive of that. I hope he has this huge dvd player and he can play "Creation" and "The Flood" and "Miracles of the Old Testament" and "The Plagues" etc. So cool!
posted by bsinger @ 8:53 PM
1 Comments:
At December 3, 2004 9:18 PM,
Kij said…
oh, tot! He's got surround sound and the works! talk about state of the art. man, not even a dvd player! MENTAL IMPLANTS!! that'd be wicked awesome... but, go with it, b. just flow. ride where ever the River takes you.
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